Size Doesn't Matter, Except When It Does -- Bonus Chapter
“It’s about time you got here. My shift ended a breem ago,” Starscream snapped at him as Soundwave reported to the control room for his turn at the night’s monitoring duty.
“Affirmative,” Soundwave nodded, because he was indeed nearly a breem late. “Reason: Rumble and Frenzy required supervision.”
Starscream was already halfway out the door. “Whatever! I don’t care, just don’t let it happen again.”
No reply was necessary, as the jet was evidently in a hurry to leave. Soundwave watched him exit. He noted the physical signs of irritation in the Seeker’s wings, sharp and stiff high on the jet’s back, as Starscream stalked from the room. The Second-in-Command was radiating contradictory waves of anger and arousal behind him, so loudly the telepath could not help but pick up on them.
It was of no concern to Soundwave, however. Seekers were notoriously flighty and quick-tempered creatures, and Starscream tended to be even more erratic than most. Soundwave had long since grown used to ignoring the temperamental Air Commander’s mercurial moods. Dismissing his superior officer’s behaviour from his thoughts, he turned to the monitoring station to take up his duties.
Several joors passed peacefully. Soundwave worked the rounds of both external and internal arrays of monitors around the Nemesis. The outside was, as expected, silent save for a small storm brewing above. But as the weather phenomena would be insufficient to impact the Nemesis at the bottom of the ocean, it was of little consequence.
Of equally little concern to the communications specialist were the less peaceful goings-on inside the Decepticon base. Soundwave casually noted several small offenses for his morning report. Swindle was caught in one corner of the mess hall, apparently living up to his name by teaching some foolish mechs some new form of gambling on which he could then profit from them. Outside the common washracks, Blastoff and Breakdown were having a dispute over something. As they were both unarmed and not surrounded by their respective teammates to encourage them to further violence, Soundwave merely recorded the brawl without interference. He could always discover the cause of the fight by probing their minds later.
Elsewhere, a flash a purple light on a security camera showed Skywarp teleporting in to help himself to several cubes of high-grade from the energon storage room before warping quickly out again. As this was a higher priority than the lower troops gambling or brawling in the corridors, Soundwave immediately sent a missive to Starscream’s workspace with the recording attached. Disciplining the flyers fell under the Air Commander’s purview, and Starscream was especially tetchy about how his own trine was treated. However, Soundwave kept a copy of the incident for his report for Megatron anyway.
A flick of the channels to a new bank of cameras revealed something that did give Soundwave a moment’s pause. Frenzy, sneaking furtively down an empty corridor, was headed towards the Officer’s wing with what appeared to be several lengths of steel and a welding torch. Suspecting the Cassetticon was up to foul play, the tape deck contacted his creation both telepathically and by comm.
“Frenzy, desist actions immediately.”
A wave of startled guilt came from the Cassette who suddenly froze on the screen. “Ahhh, boss! Desist what actions? I’m not doin’ anything!” he lied unconvincingly, glancing left and right in the hallway but forgetting to look up where the camera was mounted close to the ceiling.
Soundwave sent him a disapproving prod over their mental bond. “Actions suspicious. Materials suspicious. Location: near Starscream’s quarters. Supposition: Frenzy attempting new prank. Orders: desist immediately.”
Frenzy’s shoulders drooped, one of the lengths of steel in his arms dropping to clang noisily on the floor as he did so. The Cassette jumped guiltily.
“Frenzy: return to quarters.”
Soundwave watched for a minute as Frenzy turned to trudge sullenly back to the quarters he shared with his siblings. Then, knowing Frenzy rarely acted without his twin brother, he ran a quick telepathic scan of the base to seek out his other Cassettes. As expected, four were recharging peacefully in their quarters, with Frenzy slowly making his way to join them. Rumble, however, was many levels down, at the opposite end of the ship from the control spire. Soundwave could barely feel his presence at that range and knew that Rumble would not be able to feel him at all. It was for that very reason that his creations rarely strayed too far from his position, unless ordered to do so for a mission. The loss of the connection they shared was a bearable but mildly uncomfortable sensation they all simply preferred to avoid.
Curious over what could willingly draw Rumble so far away, but not wanting to disturb the Cassetticon just yet, Soundwave began to systematically canvas all of the security cameras in the lower levels looking for his wayward creation. He had just managed to catch a glimpse of the small blue Cassette as Rumble keyed open a door and disappeared inside. Upon discovering he was unable to activate the security camera in the room (Soundwave suppressed a sigh, because, honestly, if ever there was sign his creations were up to no good!) he had to resort to swivelling the hall camera until he could get an angle to see through the darkened doorway.
Though not the best viewpoint, the camera was able to barely pick up movement inside the dark room. Soundwave immediately adjusted the settings at the monitoring station, attempting to clarify the image. Gradually, the interior of what turned out to be a small disused storage area took shape.
At first, it was not readily apparent what was happening. Rumble’s back was to the camera and his body was partially blocking the view of the larger mech sprawled out further back. Unfortunately there was no sound so Soundwave had no way to ascertain what Rumble was up to or why Starscream had gone to an out-of-the-way storage room rather than his own quarters or lab after leaving the control room. Then Starscream lowered his null rays and Soundwave relaxed, glad he would not have to figure out some way to intervene to save his often reckless creation.
What he saw next nearly fried his processor. Stupefied, Soundwave could not tear his optics away. Frenzy could be burning the base down; Skywarp could be stealing all of the energon; the troops could be tearing each other to pieces; and the Autobots about to launch an attack... and he wouldn’t have noticed a thing. Attention wholly captured by the action in the storage room, Soundwave was completely oblivious to anything else.
Rumble, one of his most troublesome creations. Whose dislike of any mechs not Soundwave, his siblings, or Megatron was well known to all. And who had a malicious tendency to play pranks on any who dared cross his path, but most especially certain annoying elite flyers...
Rumble, that Rumble, was... was... with, of all mechs, Starscream...
Soundwave’s systems had to reboot.
It didn’t help.
Rumble was still there, fuzzily outlined with the irascible Air Commander at a bad angle on the security monitor. But what he was doing was undeniable, no matter how hard Soundwave tried to process it as such.
His Cassetticon was interfacing the Second-in-Command.
Now, as Rumble’s creator, Soundwave of course knew how the mini-con was formatted. So he knew of Rumble’s usual difficulties in finding interface partners. Which only made it more unbelievable that Starscream, the notoriously caustic egomaniac, would consent to ‘face with a mech as small as Rumble. Starscream, despite his inherent annoyingness and treacherous ways, was nonetheless generally acknowledged to be pleasing to the optic. Surely the elite Seeker did not want for partners to pick from!
Unless, a thought suddenly occurred to Soundwave, the jet had something to hide of his own.
Struck by the thought, Soundwave peered closer at the action on the screen. He couldn’t be sure – it was difficult to tell with Rumble’s frame in the way – but he was certain he was right anyway. Starscream had to be a valve-only format!
The thought was intriguing. Valve-only mechs and femmes were as rare as their spike-only counterparts, but were held in a much different esteem. Spike-only formats suffered a reputation of disdain due to their unfortunate tendency to wear out their partners. Valve-only formats, on the other hand, were a highly sought-after fantasy for many a mech and femme.
As a valve-only format, Starscream’s valve had to be extremely sensitive. Small, tight and capable of overloading multiple times before tiring, his valve was every mech’s dream. Unfortunately for Starscream though, that very sensitivity could make things down right uncomfortable for him if he wasn’t careful.
In fact, it probably even accounted for part of the reason why the jet was such a pain in the aft. Despite his desirability to other mechs, Starscream probably did not choose to interface very often. How horribly frustrating it must be! Especially for a Seeker, a model that was renowned for high passions and overt sensuality.
A sensuality that was obviously being wonderfully stimulated, if what Soundwave was seeing now was any indication.
Soundwave watched avidly. He felt a brief flare of irritation/disappointment about the lack of sound on the camera and resolved to do something to rectify that immediately – as soon as his shift was over, of course. It’d be a shame... uh, that is, highly inappropriate to leave his post before it had come to its natural conclusion.
Things were starting to heat up on screen. The tape deck shifted uncomfortably in his chair, resisting the urge to press a hand to his own interface panel. He was on duty, monitoring the safety of the base... not in his private quarters enjoying some (admittedly) very, very good amateur porn.
Sweet Primus, he’d had no idea Starscream was so flexible!
Soundwave’s internal fans kicked on in a futile attempt to cool him down. How, he wondered, was he supposed to remain unaffected while watching something as inspiring as this? He controlled his emotions, yes, but he still had them. He wasn’t Shockwave, for Unicron’s sake!
Oh, oh that was interesting. Soundwave chuckled quietly as he watched Starscream sluttily turn and display himself like a dockside whore. Judging by the way he thrust his wings back into Rumble’s hands, the rumours about the sensitivity of Seeker wings was perhaps not as inflated as he’d previously suspected. Hmm, what valuable information that could be in the right hands. Soundwave took his optics off screen for only the shortest moment needed to ensure the monitoring station was recording every detail of what was going on.
Looking back up, he saw something that made him pause. What is he...? Curious, Soundwave leaned forward to try and see what Rumble was up to by pulling out his pile drivers. Surely his Cassette didn’t mean to use the weapons on Starscream?
And quite creatively, too! Soundwave felt a wave of pride for his creation, and made a mental note to congratulate the Cassetticon on his ingenuity later. Although it appeared as if Starscream already was, Soundwave snickered to himself.
Starscream suddenly pushing Rumble away startled the laugh from his vocalizer though. Soundwave tensed in anticipation, uncertain what the temperamental jet’s reaction to Rumble using his weapons on him (even in an entirely non-threatening manner, as he did) would be. He needn’t have feared though, for what Starscream did was enough to fuel even his fantasies for vorns!
Holy Primus in the Pit! If word of this Starscream got out, the Seeker wouldn’t be able to fight off his suitors with a stick! Soundwave stared, mesmerized, as the unexpectedly captivating jet put on the best performance he’d ever seen. Rumble was going to be aching tomorrow, but Soundwave doubted he’d hear the little mini-con complaining. Not after being ridden like that!
Unable to control himself any longer, Soundwave wasn’t even aware that he was rubbing himself in time to the Seeker’s movements. All he could think was what he wouldn’t do to trade places with his own creation right now. Lucky little bastard.
By the time it was finally over and the mechs on screen had gone their separate ways, Soundwave was very much ready to get off. Shift! He coughed, he meant “shift”. He adjusted himself subtly, feeling the pressure behind his aching interface panel grow unbearable. Oh, yes, he was definitely ready.
In fact, he was ready enough to feel like pouncing on the first available mech to cross his path!
“Soundwave,” Megatron greeted as he walked into the control room. “Anything interesting to report?”
Soundwave slowly turned to face the Leader of the Deceptions where the silver tyrant was obliviously settling in for the day’s work.
Behind his visor and face mask, he grinned.
The End. (Really!)