Moonbeam's Predilections (moonbeamsfanfic) wrote,
Moonbeam's Predilections

"Life at the Lair" -- Story #2!

Not quite as spine-tingling funny as the first one, but hell! In the mood we were in, anything and everything was hilarious! This one, at least, is a bit longer. ;P

Waiting for Tomy
A "Life at the Lair" Story
By Moonbeam

"Well, they here yet?" Dr. Bonnie Barstow asked, in between bites of her delectable chocolate éclair. That Blair Sandburg really was quite the cook... and cute too! Too bad the big stone-faced detective was always hovering around him. Where was that rather pale Canadian cop to provide a distraction when she needed it most, darnit?

Probably off getting into an argument with the scary Nightcrawler guy, she thought ruefully, shivering a little in remembrance of her meeting with the icy radio star.

"Patience, dear. Tomy doesn't even know this is coming -- it's a favour to Shady." A devilish grin graced Moon's countenance. "I promised her whipping rights."

"Mmm, that was nice of you. Have you picked out a room for Tomy yet?"

"I thought I'd chain her up in the room across the hall from Nutty's. It's a double-occupancy room, and I figure Tomy's probably going to want conjugal visits from her husband at some point or another. I decided to plan ahead."

Bonnie raised a curious eyebrow. "Why don't you just kidnap Asp, too? You like his writing as well."

Moon just smiled, slowly.

Bonnie stared, blinked, and finally clued in. "Oh, oh! Right, gotcha," she grinned back. "Your ninjas really are going to have their work cut out for them, aren't they?"

"They're well paid," Moon agreed, winking.

"I'll bet," Bonnie laughed. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a tall man in an unbuttoned beige shirt slinking quickly out of the room. "I wonder where's he's going in a such a hurry?"

Moon turned to look. "Hmm? Oh, Michael? I'm sure he's just going out to say hi to Kitt. You know how those two are."

"Yeah," Bonnie pursed her lips thoughtfully, flashing on how the shirt was draped fetchingly across the man's broad shoulders. Was it just her, or was it a little warmer in here than it'd been a minute ago? "Maybe I'll just go out and visit with them," she decided, staring off in that direction. "You'll let me know when the ninjas ring in?"

Moon nodded. "Sure. Though that reminds me, I need to put in a call to Starfleet Headquarters to see about investing in a Transporter Pad. The Goa'uld transport rings are great, but too limited for the rate the Lair's growing at."

"Isn't it just! Who do you have working on the construction for this place, anyway?"

"Oh, it's a group effort. Everybody pitches in. Gimli and his team of dwarven miners are excavating new tunnels and rooms. Nick designed and installed the security system. And with Bobby Hobbes's help at the Agency, arranged for me to, uh, 'acquire' access to my spy satellite..."

Knightshade picked that moment to casually amble by. "I want those nude pictures of me back, Moon!" she threw in, overhearing.

Moon ignored the interruption and kept explaining the division of labour as she patted a gasping Bonnie on the back. "Janette and Cordelia are in charge of the interior decorating -- and Spidey's agreed to help with the painting. Although I'm really going to have to talk with Methos about that chaise of his in the library. It might be perfectly comfy when it comes to sprawling, but most of us aren't lucky enough to have a spine made out of cartilage!"


"I'm serious!" Moon asserted. "He doesn't sit in that chair, he melds with it! It's like he's triple-jointed and has only eight bones in his entire skeleton -- sword included! Rupert Giles is half-way convinced he's really some sort of as-yet undiscovered demon merely masquerading as an Immortal; and I'm sure I caught Mulder trying to rifle through the X-Files!"

"I thought those were destroyed in a fire?" Bonnie blinked, confused.

"Nah, they were rebuilt years ago. Besides, I think it was actually an explosion, not a fire."

Nutty, temporarily released from her chains in honour of Tomy's arrival, suddenly appeared at Moon and Bonnie's side. The slightly unstable dwarf danced about excitedly, head flicking from side to side as she hopped between them. "Explosion? Did somebody say explosion? Where, where?!"

Moon chuckled and calmly directed Gumnut's attention to the living room. There, on one of the sofas, Jack and MacGyver were having an enthusiastic discussion about the many advantages of blowing things up. Nutty's eyes grew wide when she saw them, her mouth dropped open, and (Bonnie would swear) the tiniest dollop of drool appeared on her lips.

"Ugh..." Nutty whimpered almost breathlessly. She twitched, trembled, then abruptly bolted pell-mell in a run toward the couch.

Moon and Bonnie broke down into gales of laughter, leaning on each other for support.

"Oh, you're evil!" Bonnie chortled, slapping Moon on the shoulder.

Moon fluttered her hand in a shaky affirmative, too busy exercising her maniacal cackle to answer properly.


Watching from the safety of a hidden corner, Nick MacKenzie chuckled as he witnessed the ladies' descent into madness. The sharpshooter and old childhood ally sharing the sheltered nook with him looked at him askance, followed his gaze, saw nothing peculiar, and shrugged.

"'Nother beer?" Vin asked.

Nick shook his head. "Think we've all had enough," he smirked. "Time to switch to coffee. Best go ask Vespurrs, I hear she makes a good pot."

Vin nodded, looking around for the RPer. "Ya know where she is?"

And Nick suddenly recalled his own devious side. "Let's go check outside," he said, shark-grin transforming his handsome features. "Last I saw, she was getting ready to put the moves on Kitt...

"Wanna see if she can make an AI blush?"


And for those of you who participated in the insanity over at the_kittchen last night (or morning, in Nutty's case!), you may recognize several elements that worked their way in. Sorry, couldn't help it! :D
Tags: angel, fanfic, forever knight, gen, invisible man, knight rider, lotr, macgyver, magnificent 7, secret lair, sentinel, star trek, stargate: sg-1

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