June 20th, 2011

*headdesk* - Star Wars

Am I getting cynical in my old (fic) age?

It's 2:00am and I just finished reading a very good Supernatural/Criminal Minds crossover. It a WIP, but there's already enough meat to the story written to sink nicely into. I enjoyed it completely, and am eagerly looking forward to the rest when it gets posted.

Like a good little reader, I fully intended to write a review. Gotta keep encouraging those authors to churn out my daily allotment of entertainment, yanno? I'm all for the provision of feedback! But thankfully I managed to stop myself from posting this one:

Hey, this is not too bad at all! So far, so good - everybody's behaving in character, no one's secrets are being spilled, nobody's a long lost relative or had suddenly-remembered past supernatural encounters which make them instant believers. Add in a case with actual elements fit for both teams, an even combination of mystery suspense and fun banter, and some pretty darn top notch writing and I think we have a winner! Sweet mercy, but this might be one of the best SPN/CM crossovers I've ever encountered!

Which means the only thing left to say is: Thank you!

Upon rereading, it's possible that little review might be revealing juuuuuuuust a little subtle bitterness. A somewhat hidden disgruntlement, perhaps. Evidence of a stealthy build-up of resentment due to too much exposure to such aforementioned bad and cliche type stories to which I have developed an aversion. Just a little. Maybe.


You know, I've noticed this odd quirk of mine before. Most other people, the more they read, the longer they spend in fandom, the broader their tolerances get. New ficcers might suddenly discover slash isn't half so squicky as their heteronormative selves initially thought, or long-time ficcers branch out into other pairings or relax their standards on grammar. Not me though. I seem to be the only person I know who has gotten more selective as the years went on. These days I'm down right picky.

What's up with that, I gotta wonder? Even as I constantly add more and more fandoms in my relentless search for fic (Dresden Files, Leverage, and BBC's Sherlock in the last month alone, for example!), my definition of "good fic" has reduced to the point where I only actually read about 1 in 100 stories I click on. Including from many of the highest-rated ones that everybody else seems to think are the bomb.

But why am I so picky? It's not hubris; it's not like I think I can write better than them, 'cause I totally know I can't. Heck, that's one of the reasons I haven't written much at all for the last few years -- I usually feel my skill level is inadequate to tackle the ideas that hop my way in a manner worthy of their nature. Yet something makes me judge each story by tighter and tighter criteria, and while it might mean that each story I do read and rec is the best of the best, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something.

Or maybe it's just really late and I should go to bed before my brain drips out my ears.

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea too. ::nods off::